Tips for Early Sobriety
No matter the reason for choosing to give up alcohol, drugs, or an addictive behavior, these tips may aid you in your efforts.
Congratulations! I am excited for you. The mere fact that you are reading this page on my blog is a great first step. Motivation and a desire to change are crucial elements to success in abstaining from addictive substances and behaviors. I welcome and celebrate you!
The first few weeks of abstinence can be an eye-opening and joyful period of time for some people. This is often referred to as experiencing a “pink cloud,” where the fog clears, your health improves, and you begin to embrace the benefits of being sober or going alcohol-free. But for others (like me), it can be a challenging and difficult time. The fog lingers, and instead of experiencing the pink cloud, you are faced with uncomfortable feelings, sleeplessness, side effects of withdrawal, restlessness, or boredom. I believe that knowing what to expect and having a few tools for coping through the first few weeks or months of sobriety can be extremely helpful.
Be compassionate to yourself. Focus on the positive choice that you are making. Do not sit in regret or self-pity or beat yourself up for past mistakes.
Once your sobriety is solid, you can make amends or apologize to people or things that you have hurt.
Get medical help if necessary. Take an honest evaluation of your recent use and the possibility of the need for medical assistance to detox from your substance.
-become informed about typical withdrawal symptoms
Set your goals for remaining AF (alcohol-free) one day at a time. Focus on staying sober today and only today…. what support do you need to not drink or use today? Don’t worry about planning for the holidays, social events, etc.
Seek information and education from multiple resources. The internet, YouTube, books, social media, and 12-step meetings are some of the many resources that can provide good information.
Set realistic expectations. Recognize that it is normal to experience;
strong emotions
lack of sleep
changes in appetite
changes in concentration
irritability
cravings
Create Your Why—Take time to think about why you are giving up your substance. Is it for your health, your children, your relationship, or to get out of trouble? There is no right or wrong answer. Spend time thinking about the benefits that you will experience in your new sober life.
Embrace this “why” and post it in your car, bathroom, refrigerator door, and everywhere else so that you will be reminded why recovery is important to you before you pick up the first drink, substance, or behavior.
Play the tape forward - Learn to pause and think about the consequences that will occur if you take that next drink. Will you be triggered to take the next? Will one lead to two, which will lead to 4 or five, and then blackout drinking?
Disclose your decision to go substance-free only to people who will support you. There will be doubters and those who will feel threatened or challenged by your decision to give up substances.
Keep busy, schedule activities, and plan ahead for times when you have been more prone to drink or use in the past.
Surround yourself with positive people, influences, social media, news and entertainment.
Take care of your basic needs. Be sure to get adequate nutrition, rest, playtime, and sleep.
Remove yourself from temptation or triggers to drink or use; you may even cancel or alter social plans if necessary. This may mean not tailgating, missing a family reunion, or dropping out of your recreational softball league.
Remind yourself and others that this restriction on your social activities is only temporary while you establish a foundation of recovery skills.
Experiment with new ways to deal with stress, boredom, and uncomfortable emotions. Consider a new hobby, meditation, physical exercise, etc.
Expose yourself to sunshine and fresh air. Go outside, spend some time in nature, walk your dog, or work in your yard.
Volunteer or get involved in some type of service work. This will serve to keep you busy, turn your attention to someone else’s troubles (rather than your own), and may even boost or repair your self-esteem.
Don’t make other extreme changes in your life. Some coaches and counselors even discourage quitting smoking, attempting dieting, etc., at this time.
Ask for help. Do not isolate or try to do this work alone.
Listen to the stories and inspiration of others who have overcome what you are going through.
You are not alone; many people have gone through the same or a similar experience to yours, and you can learn that what worked for them can work for you, too.
Be prepared for the occasional questions about why you are not drinking.
My favorite responses included; - '“I decided to make some healthier choices; I have given up caffeine and alcohol and cut down on sugar…”, “I am a non-drinker due to health reasons”, “I just don’t drink” and (once my kids were comfortable with my disclosing my substance use disorder), “I am an alcoholic.”
Don’t make promises to your family and close friends about “never drinking again.”
Many of us made promises over and over again about cutting back or giving up our drug of choice. Our family and friends want to see actions, not hear words.
Sidenote - When I am asked (especially by my children) if I will promise or guarantee never to drink again, my response is always something like this… “I am sorry, I cannot make that promise… but I am doing everything today, that I did yesterday to stay sober. And tomorrow, I will do this all over again. I feel confident in my sobriety, and I am pretty sure I will make it through another day, but you are welcome to ask me or question me as many times as you need.
In summary - Early sobriety is different for everyone. I can pretty much guarantee that there will eventually be more good times than bad times as you stack up days in recovery. However, I think having knowledge about the common pitfalls, trials, and experiences can aid you in pushing through the hard times. There will be tough days, but they won’t last forever and you do not have to be alone. My best advice is to know that there will be setbacks but keep coming back, and…
Don’t quit until the miracle happens.
Afterward -
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