Why I chose Inpatient Treatment to Treat my Substance Use Disorder
Have Self-Help Efforts Failed in Helping you Give Up Alcohol or Drugs?
Do you have fears about going to treatment? This entry is meant to answer a few questions based on my personal, not professional, experience.
At first, there was denial and wanting to do it “on my own.”
By the spring of 2012, I was desperately unhappy. Physically, I did not eat or sleep well; I was diagnosed with high blood pressure and cholesterol. Emotionally, I fluctuated between depression, anxiety, and feelings of guilt, shame, and being overwhelmed. I began to take a hard look at my drinking habits and wondered how much my drinking was impacting my physical and emotional health.
But I was in denial. I didn’t really want to quit drinking. I wanted to control it. I was horrified at the thought that I might be an alcoholic, that I had “lost control” of my drinking. So, I decided to return to therapy and look for medical solutions to my problems. I was prescribed an anti-depressant, sleeping meds, anti-anxiety medications. Eventually, my therapist suggested I try a 12-step recovery program, and I reluctantly decided to go to an AA meeting. I had known about AA from the early years of my career when I worked in inpatient drug and alcohol treatment centers. I knew that I could attend an open AA meeting without declaring myself an Alcoholic.
Early Lessons Learned from AA
From the very first meeting, I loved AA. I felt at home, not judged, and surrounded by people from various walks of life who understood me. I gradually embraced the principles of AA, got a Sponsor, admitted that I was an Alcoholic, and attended meetings regularly. But, I struggled to maintain any lengths of sobriety. Looking back, I can see that I wasn’t really “working the program.” I was picking the parts that I wanted to do, and (unbeknown to me) I was still using other addictive substances (the sleep and anti-anxiety medications) that were mood-altering, addictive, and triggering my cravings for alcohol.
Surrender
The most important lesson that I gained from AA was that I had an “illness” that I could not cure on my own.
My fears about inpatient treatment
I struggled with sobriety for about 90 days in the rooms of AA. I saw many old-timers in AA who had successfully got and maintained sobriety with AA alone. I had hoped that I could find sobriety this way, too, but it was not working for me. I knew inpatient treatment was an option, but I had many fears about going away to a treatment facility;
Cost - as silly as it seems now, I did not believe that I was worthy of spending money on treatment.
The reality is that our insurance ended up covering most of the costs, and my mental health is as important as, and an essential aspect of, my physical health.
Being away from my family
I believed that my family would not be able to manage without me. My husband traveled extensively, and I was unsure how the kids would get to their activities.
The treatment facility might take away my sleep medication
I was emotionally dependent on my sleep medication. It offered me an escape from the problems that I did not want to (but needed to) face.
I worried about what my friends and neighbors would think
In actuality, very few friends and neighbors initially knew about my absence. Those that did, were very supportive.
I might lose my job.
The Family Medical Leave Act protected my job.
“The Family and Medical Leave Act (FMLA) and the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA) both extend protections to those actively engaged in addiction treatment. The FMLA offers 12 weeks of unpaid leave in an annual period for employees who meet their eligibility requirements,”
Ultimately, I hit an emotional and physical bottom and agreed to go to treatment after a mini-intervention by my cousin and best friend. I now regret waiting so long to get professional help. If you still have any lingering fears, let me take a few moments to dispel some myths and encourage you to get more information about professional treatment opportunities if self-help has not worked for you.
Myths about inpatient treatment
You have to hit bottom before you go to treatment. Inpatient treatment is only for the worst cases.
Many people enter treatment before they “hit bottom,” and everyone’s bottom does not mean that you have lost everything and are figuratively homeless.
You have to live at the facility to get treatment.
There are many different types of treatment available at a variety of costs. These include intensive outpatient treatment centers (day or night programs), halfway houses, medical detox facilities, long-term, short-term, etc.
Inpatient Rehab is only for the worst cases.
In my personal opinion, inpatient treatment is usually the best resource for any level of substance abuse disorder.
People will judge me. There is a negative “stigma” associated with saying I have a Substance Use Disorder
This is a common fear, but who you choose to disclose your substance use Disorder to is your choice. The people who judge you don’t understand, and the people who understand won’t judge you.
Thankfully, there is a growing effort to help reduce the stigma associated with Substance Use Disorder and Mental health illnesses.
Treatment is expensive
Many insurance carriers now cover treatment costs, but there are a variety of low-cost treatment options available.
You will lose your job.
See the box about the ADA and FMLA Actc
Detox is only necessary for combatting withdrawal from “hard drugs.”
In-patient treatment offers 24-hour care and medical support for withdrawal.
“All I need is detox.”
Withdrawal and the symptoms of detox vary significantly from one drug and one person to another. In addition, Post Acute Withdrawal Syndrome can occur days, weeks, or months after the initial detox experience.
Substance Use Disorder also may impact the brain significantly, and this healing may last up to two years.
Treatment only works for people who want it.
There are a variety of different treatment modalities and treatment options that have shown to be effective with resistant patients.
“They” are going to preach AA to me; I don’t like 12-step programs.
There are many inpatient treatment programs that are not based on the 12 steps of AA.
“It didn’t work last time.. so it won’t work this time.”
I have personally witnessed individuals find and maintain recovery despite numerous relapses.
In-patient treatment will cure my addiction.
This is a controversial topic. However, I chose to believe that I must continue to practice self-care habits to balance my mental and physical health.
I always recommend that once leaving treatment, an individual becomes involved in continued mental health care.
“Relapse” means that treatment has failed.
Relapse is common, but does not mean that you have failed.
I personally believe that it more likely means that there is a piece of your recovery program that needs adjustment or addition. For example, do you need to address childhood wounds, marital conflicts, need a halfway house, etc?
“Once rehab is over, I will be back on my own.”
Almost all treatment providers will make recommendations for follow-up care or support. I believe this to be an integral part of any recovery program.
Benefits of Inpatient Treatment - what it was actually like for me.
Physical safety during detox
I believe that almost everyone in the Inpatient program that I attended went through an initial physical examination followed by a period of time in a Detox unit based on their personal needs. For me, I was in this unit for about 3 days, gradually becoming more involved in treatment activities and being assessed by a primary counselor.
Living in an emotionally safe and supportive environment
It was very reassuring to be surrounded by people who were going through the same experience as yourself. it immediately reduced some of my guilt and shame
Receiving intensive support from a team of therapeutic and medical staff with expertise in various modalities.
My treatment program provided group therapy, individual counseling, yoga, ropes courses, education, 12-step meetings, medical care etc. We were involved in treatment activities 10-12 hours a day.
Receiving treatment and evaluation of co-occurring mental and physical health disorders.
I was offered treatment options and resources for my sleep disorder, anxiety, and depression that would not conflict with my Substance Use Disorder.
Focus most of your time and energy on recovery.
It took me several days, but I was able to detach from activities and worries about my children and home life.
Get continued support after you leave inpatient treatment
My treatment center made suggestions and offered options for continued care after I left inpatient treatment
In Summary
Seeking treatment is not a sign of weakness—it takes courage to walk through the doors of an inpatient treatment program. This was one of the most painful things that I have ever had to do in my life, but it was also one of the best and most life-changing choices that I have ever made. Inpatient treatment, as in any therapy, can be challenging and painful. It is not a linear process; it has its ups and downs and requires ongoing skills to maintain recovery. But you are worth it, and you do not have to do this alone. There is considerable help out there.
Thank you so much for taking the time to read this. I hope this has been helpful. If you believe it will benefit someone else, please share it. Also, check out some of my other entries and return for more topics.
Please feel free to email me if you have a topic you want me to address. The address is located on my website.
Resources
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK144286/
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK507689/
https://nida.nih.gov/sites/default/files/podat-3rdEd-508.pdf