Building Self Esteem -

Quick Tips - for improving your self-image

I propose that there is a subtle difference between self-image and self-esteem. Self-image is how we see or view ourselves, whereas self-esteem is what we believe about ourselves. The distinction for me (as a more cognitive-behavioral clinician) is that adjusting our self-image is easier and must come before we can improve our self-esteem.

I think it is important to note that this is a process, not a quick fix. It begins with awareness, challenging what doesn’t work, making changes through multiple tools (affirmations, therapy, journaling, behavior modification, changing our environment, etc.), and repeated efforts. Gradually, you will see an improved level of self-esteem.

This begins with two

important steps:

1. Changing our behaviors and self-talk.

2. Exploring and challenging the primary sources of our poor self-esteem. (Childhood wounds, CPTSD, etc.)

1. Let’s begin by making changes in our behaviors and self-talk. Some tools or steps to aid you in this process

• Expose yourself to fresh air and nature. Go outside and get some type of exercise or movement. Make rest and sleep a priority.

• Avoid gossip at work, school, and home.

• Detatch from negative social media, negative news, etc.

• Expose yourself to positive people who you would like to be more like.

• Don’t compare yourself to others.

• Increase your self-awareness. Listen actively to how you speak to yourself, especially when you make a mistake or need help. It may be helpful to make a list of these statements.

• Plan and pick an alternate phrase or affirmation that you can use to replace the negative self-talk.

  For example, when you make a mistake, instead of saying, “I am so stupid,” “Not again,” or “I will never learn this,” replace it with, “I can do this; I just need to slow down, take my time, or ask for help.”

• Post affirmations around your house, bathroom, closet, kitchen, etc. One of my favorites is, “I grow stronger and wiser every day in every way.”

• Identify your current strengths, skills, and tools.

• Do more of what you love or take up a new hobby.

• Learn to say “thank you” when receiving a compliment or praise.

• Volunteer and work with others. This is a great way to boost your morale and self-esteem. No act of service is too small.

• Practice saying no, especially without an explanation.

• Focus on the present. When intrusive thoughts come, try writing or journaling them to slow down the thoughts. Replace with affirmations.

• When you feel you are ready for deeper self-examination and have a good support network, move on to the next step

2. Exploring your Childhood Wounds, Trauma, PTSD, CPTSD, etc., to understand the source of the self-defeating behaviors and thoughts.

• Practice self-compassion. Offer yourself the same amount of compassion and understanding that you willingly give to others.

• Set small goals at first. Make a change in your behavior that is so small it is impossible not to complete.

  For example, take a deep, cleansing breath of air before you get out of bed with a simple affirmation.

• Seek specific guidance and tools on;

  • Sharing your feelings.

  • Becoming more assertive.

  • Improving communication skills.

  • Learning how to handle criticism.

    You can use resources like coaching, YouTube, workshops, books, counseling, or therapy.

• Remove toxic individuals or set boundaries with the people, places, and things that hurt or diminish you.

• Become willing and open to greater personal exploration and change.

• Read books, watch YouTube videos, or attend workshops that address the specific issue you are working on.

  For example, addressing grief, surviving trauma, overcoming addiction, etc.

• Consider joining a 12-step, therapy, or support group that addresses your specific issue.

• Remember that it is “Progress, not Perfection” that is important.

• Acknowledge every step of progress, no matter how small.

• Continue to build on your strengths.

• Remember, being unique is a strength rather than a weakness.

• Perspective is everything. There is a strength in every formerly perceived weakness.

Summary

Remember that this is a process. Building or improving your self-esteem will positively impact your relationships, mental health, physical health, academic achievements, decision-making, problem-solving, and overall self-acceptance.

If you find this helpful, I hope you will share it with someone else. Please explore the other blog entries, and I welcome any feedback you can give me. My email address is available on the website. Thank you for your support and time.

Interested in a related topic? Check out this article on Managing Disappointment.